Hello everybody and HAPPY FRIDAY! It’s getting to the end of October, and you all know that means it’s time to get, as Chroberry would say, “a little spoopy.” Since Halloween has always been one of my favorite Holidays, I figured it would be a cool idea to take a little break from our normal routine and hop on the “Scary Cards” bandwagon! I’ll be talking about some cards that have freaky art, inspire dread in me, or are just like… scary powerful!
First of all, though, I bet you’re wondering who won the 8th Edition Foil Elvish Champion last week! Joe Renn, the random number generator has spoken and you can come by and pick up your foil whenever! I hope it goes well in your girlfriend’s EDH deck!
For this week, I’ll be giving away a Halloween inspired care package comprised of some of the cards I find to be the creepiest. Check it out:
Here is how you win:
- Like the ABU Games Facebook Page
- Like the post announcing the giveaway
- Comment on said post telling us what you think the scariest cards in Magic are!
Now, let’s get started!
Cards That Scare Me
What? Why do those cards scare me? WELL HOLD ON TO YOUR SEAT BARBARA ‘CAUSE I’M GONNA TELL YA.
Look at that Back to Basics. It’s taunting me as we speak. The reason it scares me? Well, I always forget that it could be lurking around the corner any time I’m playing Legacy at ABU on Tuesdays. It fell out of favor for a while, and me and my Wastelands, Rishadan Ports, and Cavern of Souls were starting to feel pretty good about all the Goblins we were able to cast. But then BAM! This sucker hits the field without an Aether Vial in site and ALL of my lands get tapped. In this nightmare, the Mountains never get to me in time and this silent killer makes all hope of defending myself go out the window.
And that evil Ensnaring Bridge? It’s like the lone villain that stands in the way of like, almost all of my eternal format decks. I spill all of my Goblins on to the field, pump them up, and then… NOTHING. I’ve got a kitted out Flickerwisp ready to plow into my opponent swinging a sword AND a Jitte? NOPE. Some reasonably costed white and green dorks want to save the day by hitting my opponent in the face? TOO BAD. That stupid bridge is just sitting there cackling at me, rendering me and my team powerless.
I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TYPE OUT THE WORD “TERMINUS.” If there is one card that really gets my heart racing, it’s this sucker. Every time my UW opponent goes to draw a card, it could spell doom for my board. Usually it’s Chroberry drawing the cards in this situation, and usually, it’s the cries of all my dying goblins that haunt me for the rest of the night. My watch says my heart rate is starting to race just thinking about this stupid card. I’m always right on the brink of victory with my goblins or my white weenies, thinking that THIS will be the night I 4-0 a Legacy league again, and my opponent will blind draw a Terminus with a grin on their face that would make The Joker jealous.
Okay, I’m rocking some goose pimples now – let’s take a tour of some of the freakiest art that Magic has to offer!
Bring On The “Spoopy”
There have been like, probably a bajillion Magic cards printed in the game’s history – and some of them are pretty darn creepy! Big shoutout to Chroberry and the rest of the buylist crew for taking me on a personal tour of some of the creepiest cards out there! These are the six that really made my skin crawl.
Plagiarize just makes me so, so uncomfortable. LOOK AT HIS FACE. There’s a nasty eye protrusion coming out of his mouth and his regular ol’ eyeballs are missing. Props to him for reading a book I guess, but wow does that face wig me out. Jeremy Jarvis did a great job on this one!
Ron Spencer really managed to make Boneshard Slasher creepy! This one gives me a kind of Pinhead from Hellraiser kind of vibe, but to the extreme. The coloring is awesome, and this horror is ready for Halloween!
Wall of Putrid Flesh is super gnarly! This reminds me of a lot of the old comic books my ex-stepmom found at a garage sale and bribed me into doing chores with. She probably never looked to see if they were child appropriate, because a lot of them were super gross. Old-school Judge Dredd and horror comics yay! I love how Richard Thomas depicted it – he really gave that pile of putrid flesh some awesome personality!
The Fallen is definitely one of those cards that give me the willies. There’s something about that creature’s face that makes me want to look away and pretend I never saw it! Jesper Myrfors, one of my favorite Magic artists, did a really fantastic job depicting this freaky thing. Yeesh!
Living Wall, another just… super gross yet awesome card, seems super apt for a Halloween themed piece! Just look at how icky it is! I really love the teeth in this one, and all that bubbly flesh is pretty… cool? Anson Maddocks is another absolute legend. I don’t think I’ve ever disliked anything he’s painted!
Life Chisel sent shivers up my spine. This card just screams “SERIAL KILLER” right in my ear, but with an old-school, this could be Vlad the Impaler’s house kind of vibe. Props to Anthony Waters for painting something terrifying!
Okay, but look at THIS:
I remember when I was given my first Brain Maggot FNM Promo. I was excited I did well enough to justify getting a promo but then I looked down at the card and was pretty horrified. Seriously, Dave Kendall knocked the gnarly ball right out of the park! This art is gross. Also, strangely beautiful (because the guy is a very talented artist). I’ve had nightmares about this thing… it really reminds me of the yerks from Animorphs! You remember those books? I DO NOT like imagining creepy things being in my ear and eating my brains, but for some reason, I’ve been staring at this thing all day while I research creepy Magic art.
Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic Halloween weekend (even if you aren’t celebrating – I still want you to have a good weekend because you deserve it)! Be safe out there and give lots of candy to the chilluns!